


stop me if you've heard this one

by snicklefritz



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward AU, Gen, God Dog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-03-31 08:58:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3971869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snicklefritz/pseuds/snicklefritz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Family" is a six letter word. So is "insane". Or: the daily lives of grad student Obi-Wan, fencing prodigy Anakin, and student activist Padmé.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. stop me if you've heard this one

**Author's Note:**

> huge huge HUGE thank you to cinnamon-lady24 for being a kickass beta and for helping me form this crazy au in the first place. and a shoutout to panharmonium and dyingsighs for all your kind words and beautiful art. i hope this lives up to your expectations.

Anakin asleep was a sight to see- mouth open, arms and legs akimbo, with a veritable cocoon of blankets, sheets, and pillows hiding most of his body from the outside world. Obi-Wan sipped his tea, thinking of ways to shatter Anakin’s peaceful slumber.

“Anakin. _Aaaaa_ nakin,” Obi-Wan called from the doorframe to Anakin’s room. The nineteen year-old murmured something incoherent and shifted onto his side, eyes still firmly shut. 

“Do you remember saying last night that you absolutely _had_ to be awake by 6:15?” Obi-Wan said calmly. At this, Anakin’s head lifted a little, and Obi-Wan could see his hair sticking up in every possible direction, the crease of a pillow pressed into his cheek. 

“Huh?”

Obi-Wan took a long sip of his tea, savoring every drop of Orange Pekoe. “It’s 7:30.”

Anakin _exploded_ \- his awkwardly long limbs scrambled to get out of bed, getting tangled in the sheets, causing him to fall flat on the floor in an undignified heap. He cursed in Arabic while he fought to free himself. 

“ _Why didn’t you wake me up?!_ ” Anakin cried as he finally managed to stand on both feet. He dashed out of the bedroom, bumping Obi-Wan’s elbow as he passed. Obi-Wan scowled as some of the tea spilled onto his hand.

“You also said something about being the ‘master of your own circadian rhythm’ and that alarm clocks were ‘for peasants’,” Obi-Wan reminded him, wiping the spilled tea on the edge of his bathrobe. 

Anakin poked his dishevelled head out from the bathroom. “It was a joke!” he cried before he slammed the door shut. A second later he opened the door again to glare at Obi-Wan and add, “And smug is _not_ a good look on you!”

Obi-Wan took another sip of tea. “I’m classically handsome, everything looks good on me,” he called wryly through the door. 

“Fuck you!”

Obi-Wan grinned, listening to the sound of the water running in the bathroom. He really should have woken Anakin up, since it was his first day and all, but Anakin wasn’t ten anymore; he could get up on his own.

He rapped once on the door. “There’s a sandwich for breakfast on the table and another one for lunch in the paper bag next to it,” he said.

Through the bathroom door (and what sounded like a mouth full of toothpaste) he heard Anakin say “Thank you!” Obi-Wan took that as his cue to meander back into the kitchen. His own seminar on Syntax didn’t start until ten o’clock, so he could afford to have a bit of a lie-in this morning. 

A few minutes and a fresh cup of tea later Anakin burst out of the bathroom with wet hair (he must have dunked his hair in the sink, Obi-Wan thought amusedly) and bounded into the kitchen to wolf down the peanut butter and banana sandwich Obi-Wan had made for him. (Sandwiches were a specialty of Obi-Wan’s, not out of any innate talent or interest, but purely because they were the only thing he could make that was remotely edible). 

“Seven forty-two,” Obi-Wan said helpfully as he stirred some sugar into his tea. Anakin ran from the kitchen to his room, part of the sandwich still sticking out of his mouth, and then returned half a minute later in a thead-bare black t-shirt and jeans, hopping on one foot to get his boots on. He snatched his backpack from the couch, and then scurried over to the window; he slid it open and jumped out on to the fire escape as Obi-Wan watched, shaking his head, from the kitchen. 

“Always on the move,” he muttered into his mug, which he then promptly set down as he realized Anakin had left his keys on the table, along with his lunch. He grabbed them and went to the window, where he could see Anakin had jumped the last few feet off the fire escape, narrowly avoiding the edge of the dumpster in the alley below.

“Anakin!” Obi-Wan called, holding up the keys and paper bag. He threw them down and Anakin caught them with surprising ease for someone who’d only been awake for twenty minutes. 

“See you at the gym!” Anakin called back, throwing off a quick, cocky salute before running down the side street their apartment let out to. 

Obi-Wan went back inside, shaking his head in a mixture of exasperation and fondness. Some things never changed.

***  
_Nine years ago_

It was five o’clock in the morning and Obi-Wan could feel his eyes beginning to cross from reading too much in the dark, but that didn’t stop him from going over the school supply list for the hundredth time that morning. Number two pencils? Check. Emergency numbers taped to the inside of Anakin’s lunchbox? Check. Ruler, calculator, glue, folders? Check, check, check and check. Seeing Anakin’s school supplies neatly laid out with everything in order did nothing to calm his nerves though. He wasn’t even the one starting school today, Anakin was.

Dog had given up interest an hour ago, and was contentedly snoozing by the front door, his head pillowed on Anakin’s shoes. Obi-Wan grimaced as he noticed a rip on the side of Anakin’s shoes- he’d have to get him a new pair, he should have thought of that when they were out yesterday. Another thing to worry about. 

Obi-Wan sipped his tea in the darkness. He’d had entirely too much caffeine in the past twenty four hours, but he couldn’t sleep yet. It was Anakin’s _first day_. But it didn’t feel like it was only him starting something new. 

This was ridiculous. He was over-thinking, something he promised himself he wouldn’t do. Obi-Wan drained the last of his tea and poured more out of a thermos, still piping hot though he’d made it an hour ago. Swirling it in his cup, he went through the list again, and again, occasionally starting as Dog made a noise chasing dream rabbits. When it was finally an acceptable time for a nine year old to be awake, Obi-Wan stood up with a sigh and made his way to Anakin’s room. 

Anakin’s door wasn’t fully closed, and Obi-Wan gently shouldered it open, wincing when it creaked loudly through the still house. He made a mental note to fix it before the school day was over. When he looked inside, he saw that Anakin wasn’t in bed, but sitting by the window, his knees drawn up to his chest. His face was pale in the dawn light, and he looked even smaller and more waif-like than he had at the funeral. He looked up at Obi-Wan with the most adult expression of resignation he had ever seen, and the never-ending stab of emotion through his heart twisted a little deeper at the sight.

 _We’re a bloody Dickens novel_ , Obi-Wan thought to himself. 

“I’m already dressed,” Anakin murmured softly. Indeed he was- Obi-Wan couldn’t believe he hadn’t heard him moving around. Too wrapped up in his own worries, he guessed. He nervously ran a hand through his hair, which by now was barely an inch past army regs. He couldn’t make up his mind to cut it or not. 

“Come on downstairs,” he said to Anakin quietly. “I’ll make breakfast.”

***  
_Present day_

The way Anakin told it, he managed to get to class exactly thirty seconds before his professor entered the lecture hall, and then preceded to doze off in the middle of the syllabus reading. 

“But I wasn’t the only one!” he said defensively as he changed shirts in the men’s locker room of the gym two blocks from Obi-Wan’s apartment. “There were at least three other people who fell asleep, and that wasn’t just because the class is at ass-a.m., the proff is fucking _boring_.”

“Language, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, more out of habit than anything else. He rummaged around in his duffel bag and scratched at his chin. “Where the devil did I-”

Anakin wordlessly tossed him his deodorant. He did that sometimes, would just silently hand over things Obi-Wan was looking for or reaching to pick up, sometimes before he knew he needed them. It was an endearing habit.

“Thank you. What class is it again?”

“Chem 115.” Anakin looked up at Obi-Wan plaintively. “And not only is the teacher boring, everyone in that class is so…”

“So…?”

“Well, not dumb, but _I’m_ definitely the smartest person in there,” Anakin declared. Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. 

“I’m sure the rest of them think that way as well. Remember what we talked about.”

Anakin frowned.”About sorting the recyclables?”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes as he tugged on a pair of gloves. “No, Anakin, although if I find one more glass bottle in the plastic bin I’m smashing it over your head. I meant about pride.”

“It goeth before a fall?”

Obi-Wan nodded, sitting down to put on his shoes. “Precisely.”

Anakin grinned. “You see, I _do_ listen sometimes.”

“Not nearly often enough, though.” Obi-Wan finished tying the laces on his shoes and looked up at Anakin. “Your turn to pick, by the way.”

Anakin snorted. “You already know what I’m going to pick, you don’t have to be so diplomatic about it.” He picked up his saber and twirled it once, and if Obi-Wan weren’t so certain of Anakin’s skill and control with a sword, he would have ducked at the close proximity it came to hitting him on the head.

“See you on the mat,” Anakin said as he walked out of the locker room. 

***  
_Nine years ago_

Anakin was fed and weighed down with approximately fifteen pounds of school supplies with half an hour to go before the bus would even turn on to their street. Dog, now awake again, was wagging his tail and sniffing Anakin’s lunchbox, trying to find his way in to get at the peanut butter sandwich Obi-Wan had packed. Considering how obviously worse the morning could have gone, Obi-Wan had expected to feel less harried, but he kept glancing at the clock anxiously every two minutes, convinced he’d gotten the school bus time wrong. 

“We should probably get to the bus stop,” he murmured, more to himself than Anakin, who was simultaneously petting Dog and trying to push the humongous Great Dane away from his lunchbox without success. “Put your shoes on, Anakin.”

Anakin’s head jerked up. “You’re coming with me?”

Obi-Wan looked away from the clock to meet Anakin’s eyes. “Of course I’m coming with you,” Obi-Wan frowned. “It’s your first day.”

“I know,” Anakin muttered, one hand scratching at Dog’s ears. He went and slipped on his shoes, and Obi-Wan felt a pang of indecision. Should he let Anakin go by himself? The bus stop was barely out of sight of the house. He shook his head and stamped the feeling down; it was Anakin’s first day of school and he was Anakin’s guardian, and by god, he was going to guard that boy to the best of his ability, even if he _was_ being overbearing and overprotective. 

After a moment’s hesitation, Obi-Wan decided to bring Dog along with them, because _someone_ had to be excited to leave the house today. Dog panted and beat his tail excitedly against Obi-Wan’s thigh as he attached the leash, but when he stepped outside and beckoned for Anakin to follow, Anakin let out a little laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Obi-Wan asked, standing just outside the door, Dog impatiently yanking on the leash to go explore.

Anakin didn’t answer, one hand covering his mouth to keep his laughter in, but his eyes went up and down Obi-Wan’s body, and that’s when Obi-Wan realized that he was still wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a rather dingy brown bathrobe thrown over them. He flushed, handed the leash to Anakin, and bounded back into the house to throw on clothes that would at least pass for socially acceptable in front of schoolchildren and their parents. 

Anakin was still snickering at him when he came back out and locked the door, now dressed in a sleeveless white shirt, dark jeans, and a pair of ratty Converse sneakers he usually reserved for lawn work. He took Dog’s leash back from Anakin, mussed up the boy’s hair once in petty revenge, and then the Skywalker-Kenobi-Canine trio walked down the sidewalk to the bus stop.

***  
_Present Day_

Obi-Wan and Anakin had an agreement with the owner of the local gym; as long as they didn’t accidentally kill themselves, other gym members, or damage the equipment, they could borrow one of the yoga studios to fence in for two hours every other day. 

As it turned out, no one in the gym had ever seen two Olympic-level fencers duel before, and before they knew it they had a slew of spectators peeking in through the studio door and windows, trying to catch a glimpse of their (admittedly very unorthodox) fencing style. Anakin thought it was flattering mostly, and Obi-Wan found it exhausting. It did, however, open up an unexpected opportunity, as many of those same nosey spectators were quite eager to ask if Obi-Wan and Anakin would consider teaching others the sport. So on the weekends in the summer, Obi-Wan and Anakin would teach beginning fencing classes at the gym to groups ranging from middle school children to senior citizens attempting a new form of exercise. 

Today was not a class day, though; it was simply a sparring session for the pair of them, private, no students. They preferred it that way. 

Anakin was already warming up when Obi-Wan strolled in, bent over to touch his toes. He straightened up, caught Obi-Wan’s eye, then leaned back, flowing gracefully into a backbend, then a handstand, and finally tipping himself back upright to stand and catch Obi-Wan’s eyes again. 

“Show off,” Obi-Wan said fondly, and Anakin grinned happily at him, before launching himself into a much quicker back-hand spring. 

“Don’t go breaking your neck, Anakin, I haven’t even warmed up yet,” Obi-Wan reproached mildly. 

“I’m going to wipe the floor with you today, Obi-Wan.”

“Say that to me again when you’ve learned to block properly.”

\---

Their last duel ends in a tie, like the last four matches before it. When Obi-Wan and Anakin sparred for a long period of time, they stopped behaving like two separate entities and instead acted as a single unit, with their swords crossing each other faster than the eye could follow, the match ending in a draw no matter what sort of tricks they threw at each other. 

Anakin collapsed on the mat, sweat beading down the end of his nose, grinning up at Obi-Wan fondly. “That’s the tenth tie. Twenty-two to twenty. I win.”

Obi-Wan extended his hand to help Anakin off the mat, trying to hide exactly how winded he was. “Twenty-two to twenty-one, I believe it was.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Anakin replied easily, brushing imaginary dirt off of his sweatpants. He idly swung his sabre around as he walked off the mat to get a drink of water. They’d been at it for almost two hours, and they hadn’t gone easy on each other (which, to be honest, they hadn’t for some time now). Obi-Wan could feel the muscles in his thighs crying protest as he followed Anakin off the mat to pack up their equipment. 

“You didn’t tell me how your class went,” Obi-Wan said mildly. Anakin looked over at him, still chugging down water, and shrugged. He wiped sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.

“Not much to tell. The proff is boring, the subject is boring, and the people are boring.”

“There must be _some_ redeeming quality.”

Anakin grimaced. “If it had a redeeming quality it wouldn’t be offered at eight in the freaking morning.” He slipped his saber into the duffel bag Obi-Wan held open for him. “You didn’t tell me about _your_ class.”

“Because I thought you’d find it _boring_.”

Anakin reached over and punched Obi-Wan in the arm. “You’re probably right, but tell me about it anyway.”

Obi-Wan stalled for a moment by readjusting the straps on the duffel bag. He didn’t really want to talk about class right now in the same way Anakin clearly didn’t; and there were other things he needed to ask Anakin, important things, about doctor’s appointments and symptoms and things Anakin would want to talk about even less than school. 

***  
_Nine years earlier_

“How was school, Anakin?”

The only answer Obi-Wan got was a frown. _Oh bollocks_. 

Anakin tossed his backpack down in the corner of the kitchen, then sat down where he stood, while an over-excited Dog licked at his face. Obi-Wan set the sandwich he was making aside (putting it on top of the fridge out of habit so Dog couldn’t reach it) and lowered himself onto the floor across from Anakin. Anakin didn’t meet his eyes, still preoccupied with petting Dog. 

“That bad, eh?” Obi-Wan prodded gently. Anakin shrugged, scratching between Dog’s ears. 

Obi-Wan awkwardly rubbed his chin, unsure of how to proceed. He hadn’t been popular in school, but he’d gotten on fairly well with everyone; however, he’d had the advantage of knowing everyone there since preschool. 

Obi-Wan thought for a moment as Anakin whispered praise to Dog, who was thumping his tail against the kitchen floor hard enough to make a drumming noise, thump thump thump. 

“Guess what I did this morning, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, suddenly remembering.

The blonde looked up at him warily. “What?” 

Obi-Wan smiled proudly. “I broke the toaster oven.”

Right on cue, Anakin’s face broke out in a wide smile as he laughed at Obi-Wan’s expense. “How did you do _that_?”

“In truly spectacular fashion,” Obi-Wan replied, reaching over to give Dog a quick pet. In fact, the kitchen still smelled just a little bit like smoke and charred bread. It was actually rather homey. 

“Lemme see!” Anakin said, shooting off the floor, causing Dog to grumble at the loss of attention. Obi-Wan stood and led Anakin over to the trash bin, where the toaster oven sat in its broken glory on top of an empty orange juice container. Dog sniffed it once in disdain. Anakin picked it up gingerly, a piece of wire falling out from beneath it. Obi-Wan could hear something loose rattling around inside. 

“I’m not sure what I did, but I did it,” Obi-Wan said as Anakin examined the machine with careful scrutiny, picking at the loose wires beneath with his fingernail. He wasn’t that bad with machines himself, but Obi-Wan had given it up for lost after it had started to spark. He wasn’t about to risk a house fire twice in one day. 

“I can _totally _fix this!” Anakin said, his voice considerably brighter than it was earlier. He tucked the toaster oven underneath his arm and scurried off to his room, Dog following close behind. A moment later Anakin stuck his head back into the hallway and shouted, “Come here, I’ll show you how!”__

__***  
_Present Day__ _

__How neither of them had homework on their first day was a mystery, but one they didn’t want to investigate too closely. Obi-Wan had managed to drift off into a light doze on the couch, lulled to sleep by Anakin’s humming and muttering from the kitchen. He wasn’t sure what Anakin was making for dinner (and neither was Anakin, to be fair) but it at least had a 50% chance of not being burned, which was more than either of them could ask for._ _

__“We should get a dog,” Anakin announced from the kitchen. Obi-Wan didn’t bother opening his eyes._ _

__“We talked about this, Anakin.”_ _

__“And we should talk about it some more, because _dogs_ , Obi-Wan.”_ _

__The older man sighed deeply. “Yes, dogs, I understand, but we can neither afford nor fit a dog into this apartment.”_ _

__“We could get a chihuahua.”_ _

__Obi-Wan shuddered despite the cozy warmth of the apartment. “ _No_.”_ _

__Anakin laughed somewhere behind him. “Suit yourself.” He went back to cooking whatever it was he was making, and Obi-Wan allowed himself to doze off again._ _

__Obi-Wan wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep when he was rudely awoken by what could only be described as a an electrified screech reverberating through the ceiling from the apartment above. Obi-Wan bolted up right as Anakin dropped a cutting board on his foot, both of them swearing loudly._ _

__“What the hell was that?” Obi-Wan muttered, his accent stronger from sleep and the fright of being suddenly woken. The noise was followed by a loud bass thumping noise that immediately caused a synchronized throbbing in Obi-Wan’s temples._ _

__“It’s one of Binks’ fucking parties,” Anakin said as he picked the cutting board off the floor. “He invited me after class, I forgot to warn you about it.”_ _

__Obi-Wan settled back down on the couch and breathed out once through his nostrils. Their upstairs neighbor was nice enough, on the few occasions they ran into him, but his parties were the stuff of a frat-party nightmare._ _

__He heard Anakin walk over to the back of the couch, and then the soft weight of an aspirin bottle hit him in the chest._ _

__“Thanks.”_ _

__Anakin went back into the kitchen, clattering about as if he could drown out the Top 40 hit echoing through their ceiling, but then he cursed again and dropped something._ _

__“Fucking- what the fuck- why-”_ _

__“Words, Anakin,” Obi-Wan called from the couch._ _

__“Some asshat is pouring beer on your plants!” Anakin called, and before Obi-Wan could respond with anything other than ‘wait they’re still alive?’, Anakin was bounding out of the kitchen and onto the fire escape, where Obi-Wan’s garden was being met with frothy abuse._ _

__“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” he heard Anakin shout upwards at the fire escape above him. Obi-Wan stood and cautiously went to the window, where he could see Anakin balancing precariously on the edge of the fire escape, staring upwards furiously at a girl trying to pour beer on him._ _

__Obi-Wan didn’t hear what she said, but her response inflamed Anakin. He tried to reach up, perhaps in a misguided attempt to grab the beer can from the girl, but she danced away from him, laughing._ _

__“Let it go, Anakin-” Obi-Wan sighed exasperatedly. Anakin steadfastly ignored him, as usual. Obi-Wan looked up and saw another pair of feet join the beer can-wielding girl on the fire escape, and whoever it was caused the strangest reaction in Anakin Obi-Wan had seen all night; Anakin froze, in the most cliche sense of the word, his expression stuck halfway between bewilderment and recognition. His mouth moved, and he said something very softly, but it wasn’t until later that Obi-Wan registered the name that left Anakin’s lips, for at that very moment, the girl decided to throw her beer can at Anakin’s head._ _

__Anakin had the reflexes of a cat, but whoever the other person on the fire escape was seemed to have shocked the sense out of him, because instead of catching the beer can, or dodging it like he normally could have, it hit him just above his left eyebrow, and Anakin lost his balance. Before Obi-Wan could even shout, Anakin’s arms were flailing, and he dropped like a stone off the fire escape._ _


	2. am i more than you bargained for yet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies and plans are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shinai is a training sword for kendo. And the phrase Dog is called is Arabic for "little guardian", orولي الصغير. I used google translate and just typed out the way it sounded to me, so if it's wrong please let me know and I'll gladly fix it. 
> 
> And so much love to panharmonium, who made me the most perfect mix for awkward au. Go listen to it and check out her blog, she's amazing. http://8tracks.com/panharmonium/awkward-au
> 
> Formatting is kicking my ass on this and I'm tired so I might fix the paragraphs tomorrow, who knows.

_Ten years ago_

Qui-Gon tapped his foot on the floor, watching Obi-Wan painstakingly move through the complicated new kata he was learning.

 

“Remember, your focus determines your reality,” Qui-Gon called from the sidelines. Obi-Wan didn’t stop moving, but his eyes slid over to catch his teacher’s.

 

“Does that mean if I focus on taking a break, I’ll be finished for the day?”

 

Qui-Gon didn’t respond immediately, watching Obi-Wan go through the forms. “Watch your back foot,” he said, and Obi-Wan responded to the correction by shifting his weight minutely.

 

“Go through the whole thing once more, then you’ll be done.”

 

Obi-Wan twirled his shinai in a decidedly incorrect fashion before retaking his stance and going through the form again, each movement flowing with a professional evenness and balance. As he finished, Qui-Gon nodded his approval.

 

“Excellent. I’ll teach you the next level forms in the morning.”

 

Obi-Wan managed to turn his grin into a polite smile and a quick, courteous bow. As soon as he helped Qui-Gon fold the mats back into the hall closet and set the table back into the middle of the living room, he opened the door to the back garden and Dog barrelled inside, letting out a happy bark.

 

“Yes, I know, how could we have carried on without you?” Qui-Gon said gently as Dog sniffed his hand. Obi-Wan patted his thigh and Dog immediately came rushing over, standing on his hind legs to sniff at his other human.

 

“If you get any bigger, I’ll be able to ride you to work,” Obi-Wan said as Dog licked at his face. “Yes, yes, who’s a good boy?”

 

Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan’s shinai and set it inside the closet with the mats. “Obi-Wan, is that blue shirt Luminara gave you here?”

 

“I think so, yeah,” Obi-Wan replied, too wrapped up in playing with Dog to pay much attention. “Why?”

 

“I thought it might be something nice to wear this evening.”

 

Obi-Wan dropped Dog’s paws, much to the canine’s dismay. “Are we going somewhere?” he asked, racking his brain to see how he could have missed any such appointment. Qui-Gon surely would have mentioned it. “Or is Colonel Windu in town?”

 

Qui-Gon smiled enigmatically. “No, no. It’s just that I have a surprise.”

 

_Present Day_

 

Someday, Anakin would tell this story to a room full of people and he’d laugh along with them. Right now though, laughing hurt too much to be an option.

 

“I am so so so _so_ sorry!”

 

“It’s fine,” Anakin grumbled, a bag of frozen peas covering half of his face. He, Obi-Wan, Sabé Kovarrie and Padme Naberrie were crammed into Obi-Wan’s tiny kitchen, examining the wound made by Sabé’s beer can colliding with Anakin’s left temple. Sabé, who hadn’t actually apologized yet out of drunkenness or animosity, leaned against the refrigerator glaring at everyone except Padmé, who _was_ apologizing, while Obi-Wan poked and prodded at Anakin’s back to check for spinal injuries.

 

“I told you, Obi-Wan, I’m fine,” Anakin sighed, shifting his grip on the rapidly-defrosting bag of peas. “All the cardboard in the dumpster cushioned my fall."

 

Obi-Wan prodded at small but dark bruise forming on Anakin’s lower back and watched as the younger man squirmed. How Anakin had managed to land in the dumpster instead of on the concrete was either a miracle or a testament to how much experience Anakin had falling from heights. It helped that they were only one storey up.

 

 “Shame it cushioned your head, coulda knocked some sense into it,” Sabé muttered, and Obi-Wan snorted before he could stop himself. It was something he himself had said to Anakin several times over the years. Anakin and Padmé glared at Sabé, who appeared nonplussed.

 

“Well, no concussion, no broken bones, no reason to go to a hospital,” Obi-Wan concluded. He glanced over at Sabé. “While I can certainly empathize with the desire to throw things at Anakin’s head-”

 

Anakin made a noise of protest and kicked Obi-Wan in the shin.

 

“-that still doesn’t excuse _actually_ throwing something at his head,” Obi-Wan finished. Padmé opened her mouth to apologize again, but Obi-Wan held up a hand to forestall her.

 

“I’m not apologizing,” Sabé said bluntly. “He didn’t have to call me a-”

 

“You were dumping beer on Obi-Wan’s stuff!” Anakin contested hotly, nearly jumping down from his perch on the counter.

 

“I wasn’t doing it on purpose!” Sabé replied testily, pushing herself away from the fridge to draw herself up to her full height (which wasn’t much). “I got shoved and I spilled it, it was an accident.”

 

“Not when you poured it on me!” Indeed, Anakin’s shirt was stained with cheap beer, the fumes flooding the small space of the kitchen.

 

“When some teenage punk with a bad attitude calls me a clumsy moron, I’m not going to take that lying down!”

 

“ _Enough_!” Obi-Wan said coldly, startling everyone. “Anakin, apologize for calling her names.”

 

“But-”

 

“And you apologize for hitting him with a beer can,” Obi-Wan finished firmly, looking at Sabé. She glared back at him evenly, while Padmé shifted her weight back and forth nervously, watching everyone with wide eyes.

 

Anakin swallowed, glancing at Padmé briefly before clearing his throat. “I’m sorry,” he said roughly, looking at a spot just beyond Sabé’s left shoulder. For a moment Obi-Wan looked as though he would prompt Anakin further, but he changed his mind and turned his attention to Sabé. They all looked expectantly at her as she ignored their gazes.

 

“...I’m sorry,” she whispered, the words coming out in a rush, like ripping off a particularly nasty bandaid. Padmé let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, and Sabé turned and leaned her head against the other girl’s shoulder.

 

“Can we go back now?”

 

“Yeah,” Padmé aid, an unfamiliar note of uncertainty in her voice. She glanced back at Anakin, who stared unabashedly back at her, and for a moment he thought he saw her cheeks darken before she turned away from him.

 

“I’m going to take Sabé home now,” she murmured sheepishly, leading her friend out of the kitchen. Anakin watched her go with mixed feelings- he wanted to stay and ask her a thousand questions, but he was glad to see Sabé leaving. Even as kids, they’d never got on well.

 

“Do we need to call a cab for you?” Obi-Wan asked diplomatically, already reaching into his pocket for his cell phone. Padmé shook her head.

 

“That’s not necessary, we’re only two floors up.”

 

If Anakin had been drinking anything, he’s fairly certain he would have spit it out in shock. “You live in this building?!”

 

Sabé raised her head like she was about to say something rude again, but Padmé cut her off quickly. “Yeah. I guess we’re neighbors now,” she said sheepishly, not meeting their eyes, and both Obi-Wan and Anakin had the same thought; that somewhere, somehow, some pair of cosmic dice landed in a new formation, and neither of them had any idea if the roll was good or bad.

 

\---

_Ten years ago_

 

Obi-Wan hated surprises. Even though by dint of his personality he was more than prepared for most surprises that dared to spring themselves on him, he still hated them. He once punched Quinlan Voss in the face for throwing him a surprise birthday party (although, to be fair, Quin really shouldn’t have hidden behind that sliding door).

 

So when Qui-Gon said, “I have a surprise for you”, Obi-Wan mentally began preparing himself for the worst.

 

It was a Tuesday, and it was raining, and Dog was steadily going crazy from being kept indoors. He whined to go out, but all that rain meant mud, and according to Qui-Gon they didn’t have time for mud, what with his “surprise” coming there soon. He absolutely refused to give any hints to what it may be, simply smiling at Obi-Wan’s increasingly furrowed brows, and told him to be patient.=

 

Obi-Wan was thoroughly sick of being patient, and kept watch at the front door, Dog’s head resting on his knee.

 

“Oh, quiet you,” Obi-Wan muttered when Dog let out a particularly loud whine. “I don’t want to be indoors either.” Dog sniffed at Obi-Wan’s palm and kept on whining, his tail wagging to and fro across the floor. Qui-Gon was in the kitchen, repeatedly opening cabinets and drawers and banging about in the frightful way that could only mean one thing- people were coming over for dinner.

 

It’s not that Obi-Wan disliked company, per se. He disliked strangers- it was something he and Dog had in common. That, and Qui-Gon’s admission of their company being a “surprise”, was playing merry hell on his nerves. For the moment he calmed himself by playing with Dog’s ears, trying to see if he could make them stand up.

 

At a quarter to six Obi-Wan saw lights cutting through the swathe of rain and autumn darkness, and Dog began to bark as he heard the motor of a car coming up the driveway. The bottom of Obi-Wan’s stomach dropped somewhere to the level of his shoes. He’d never had a problem with any of Qui-Gon’s friends, so why did this new meeting cause him so much dread?

 

Qui-Gon poked his head out of the kitchen. “They’re early,” he said serenely. He glanced at Obi-Wan, who had a hold of Dog’s collar as he tried to scratch at the door. “Try to be friendly.”

 

“Aren’t I always?” Obi-Wan said indignantly.

 

“You’re always _polite_ ,” Qui-Gon corrected before ducking back into the kitchen.

 

\---

 

_Present Day_

 

Anakin was tearing apart the microwave again. When Obi-Wan felt stressed, he meditated; Anakin simply gutted the nearest mechanical object. To each their own.

 

But Obi-Wan was also running late for a meeting with Professor Koon and the only edible thing for breakfast were some frozen waffles, which wouldn’t have been a problem _if Anakin hadn’t taken apart the bloody microwave._

 

“Use the toaster,” Anakin muttered eloquently with a screwdriver between his teeth.

 

“I would, if you hadn’t broken that same toaster a month ago,” Obi-Wan said pointedly.

 

“Why haven’t you replaced it then?”

 

“Because you said _you_ would replace it!”

 

Anakin side-eyed him and took the screwdriver out from his mouth. “And you believed me?”

 

Obi-Wan breathed in deeply through his nose and counted to eight before he let the breath back out. Anakin used the end of the screwdriver to bang twice on a panel inside the microwave. So much for the warranty.

 

“Obi-Wan, relax, just get breakfast in the refrectory,” Anakin said. He jerked his head towards the kitchen table. “You can take my ID, get something on my meal plan.”

 

“I’ll still be late.”

 

“But you won’t be bitchy because you’re hungry,” Anakin pointed out.

 

“ _I am not_ -”

 

“Arguing with me is just going to make you even later, Obi-Wan, now scoot- I need to concentrate or we’re not gonna get our security deposit back.”

 

Obi-Wan took in a breath to retort but halfway through decided that it just wasn’t worth it. Instead, he tugged open the neck of Anakin’s shirt, tossed the frozen waffle down his back like a grenade, and retreated out of the apartment to the sound of Anakin’s cursing.

 

\---

 

_10 years ago_

 

Dog is ready to tear Obi-Wan a new one if he doesn’t let go of the collar _this instant_ to let him judge the strangers at the door worthy of entering. Judging by the vague shadowy figure Obi-Wan can glimpse through the window, their visitor has made it to the front porch, and a brisk knock a moment later confirms it.

 

“I’ll get it,” Qui-Gon called from the kitchen, and he walked briskly to the door, straightening the thin apron he’d tied around his waist. He glances back to smile encouragingly at Obi-Wan before he opened the door.

 

A woman stepped inside from the rain, shutting her umbrella courteously before she crossed the threshold. She was maybe a few years younger than Qui-Gon, with worry lines around her eyes and mouth, but her eyes had a deep, kind quality to them that Obi-Wan could instantly see why Qui-Gon was drawn to her. She seemed completely untouched by the downpour outside as she took off her coat, smiling broadly at Qui-Gon.

 

“I’m sorry we’re early,” she said to Qui-Gon as he took her coat. “I was so afraid we’d be late-”

 

“Perfectly alright,” Qui-Gon said smoothly. Before he could say anything else, the mystery woman turned back to the still-open door and stuck her head out, calling something out in a language Obi-Wan didn’t immediately recognize. Dog let out a rough bark for being ignored for so long, and lunged forward; Obi-Wan finally lost his grip on Dog’s collar as the Great Dane made a mad dash for the woman. Obi-Wan tried, he really did, to catch Dog, but for being roughly the size of a pony, the mutt was fast, and all Obi-Wan managed to do was fall on his face as Dog rushed towards the woman and barked loudly at her, ears flattened.

 

“Dog!” Qui-Gon said loudly, “Stop that!”

 

Dog did not stop that. Dog, in fact, barked even louder. The woman, to her credit, did not flinch or start at the animal’s intentions. Slowly, she crouched down, and held out her hand to Dog, making a low clicking sound with her tongue.

 

“Come here, _walya asalyeer_ ,” she said soothingly. “Come come.” Qui-Gon put a steadying hand on her shoulder, and it was that, more than anything, that made Dog stop barking. Obi-Wan watched, still stretched out on the floor, as Dog took a step forward and sniffed suspiciously at the woman’s hand, then her arm, then finally coming close enough to smell her face. She closed her eyes and snorted good-naturedly at the attention, and Dog huffed in response; he must have decided she was worthy to enter, for he turned around and trotted back to Obi-Wan’s prone position on the floor and lay down next to him.

 

“I’m so sorry, he’s not used to strangers,” Qui-Gon said softly to the woman as he helped her stand. She shrugged.

 

“It’s alright. He seems very loyal to you,” she replied, and she finally looked over at Obi-Wan, who kind of wanted to stay on the floor and never get up again.

 

“You are Obi-Wan?” she asked, smiling at him. “Qui-Gon has told me so much about you.”

 

Before Obi-Wan could respond with anything charming or scathing (he hadn’t made up his mind), he heard quick footsteps on the porch, and all of a sudden a tiny blurred shape appeared in the doorway, drenched in water and covered in so much mud it was impossible to ascertain what color his clothes were. It was a child, a boy of no more than eight or nine, with a grin so wide Obi-Wan thought his face must surely hurt from holding it, and he grinned up at Qui-Gon and the woman who must be his mother.

 

“There’s so much _water_ , Mom!” he said breathlessly. Spotting Qui-Gon, he waved enthusiastically, splattering mud onto the wall. “Hi, Mr. Jinn!” he said brightly.

 

And then. And then he turned and saw Obi-Wan and Dog lying side by side on the floor, and his impossibly wide smile got even bigger. “You have a _dog_?!”

 

\---

 

_10 Years Later_

 

Anakin was Most Certainly Not looking up Padmé Naberrie’s name on Facebook. Absolutely not. That would be absurd and just a shade too close to cyber-stalking.

 

(It’s not like he could see anything anyway, with her privacy filters set to Friends Only).

 

He only barely stopped himself from sending her a friend request, because sending one less than 24 hours after they met again for the first time in, oh, a decade, reeked of a desperation Anakin wasn’t ready to show yet. He resolved to at least wait until he saw her again. It wasn’t a big building, he’d surely run into her again soon.

 

He’d also probably run into Sabé, which was decidedly less appealing. She’d never liked him even when they were kids, though Anakin could never figure out why.

 

Anakin shut his laptop and leaned back on the couch. He hadn’t seen Padmé in ten years, and seeing her on the balcony last night had been so shocking he’d forgotten how to breathe. He hadn’t immediately recognized Sabé, who’d grown taller and somehow more pointed with time, but Padmé! Padmé hadn’t changed at all, except maybe to grow even more beautiful with time.

 

Anakin snorted at his own ability to wax poetic about her and got up off the couch, running a hand through his hair. He was glad Obi-Wan was finally gone for the day, and that his own engineering class didn’t start until one. He strained his memory to recall every detail about her from the night before, every minute look on her face and note of her voice when she apologized for Sabé almost killing him with a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

 

Well. At least they met again under very memorable circumstances, even if they weren’t fun. He had the bruises to prove it.

 

Anakin was startled out of his thoughts by a knock at the door. He was instantly on alert. No one visited them, except maybe Luminara, although never unannounced, and sometimes Binks, but he always yelled through the door instead of knocking politely. Figuring a robber wouldn’t actually knock on the door, Anakin walked over and opened it.

 

Padmé Naberrie stood in front of him, wearing a dress and looking about as nervous as he’d ever seen her. She had a bag from the drugstore in her hand, and Anakin was suddenly very aware of both how much taller he was than her now, and that he was still wearing the shirt he slept in. Fantastic.

 

“Hi,” she said, smiling up at him, her nervousness seemingly vanished beneath the weight of that smile. “I still feel really terrible about what happened last night, so I brought you some things,” she explained, her words slightly quicker than normal, handing him the bag. Anakin took it gingerly, not daring to risk touching her hand to his just yet, and looked inside to see bottles of ibuprofen and a brand new ice-pack that had a cartoon Batman face on it. He looked back at her, her hands clasped in front of her, patiently waiting for a response.

 

“Thank you,” he croaked, holding the bag in front of him like some sort of shield. Would it be too forward to invite her in? Did she really feel that guilty about him getting hurt? Did she pick Batman because he loved it as a kid, or was it just happy coincidence? His head hurt worse than getting hit with that fucking beer can.

 

“Uh,” he said eloquently, stalling for time “So, what are you doing here? In. Coruscant? Not in the building, obviously. You live here. Of course you’d be in the building.” _Shut up, Anakin. Shut up **right now**._

 

Padmé laughed a little, and Anakin wondered if she was used to having boys trip over their tongues when they spoke to her. “I’m in school. Political science, human rights minor. Sabé’s in psychology.”

 

Anakin nodded, then remembered he was probably supposed to say something. “I just started yesterday. Engineering. Obi-Wan is doing some grad work in historical linguistics or something, you’d have to ask him about it.”

 

“I will,” Padmé said. An awkward silence passed between them as they each wondered what the other was going to say and desperately tried not to say something first, which was finally broken by Padmé’s phone buzzing with a text from her sister.

 

“I’m supposed to meet her for lunch,” she explained, apologizing for cutting their meeting short. “But- I’d really like to catch up with you. And Obi-Wan,” she added quickly.

 

“I’d like that too,” Anakin replied, hardly daring to hope that she really meant it. “And- and Obi-Wan would too.” She smiled at him.

 

“I just can’t believe that we’re neighbors again, Ani,” she said, her eyes bright.

 

“Small world,” Anakin muttered, hoping she wouldn’t notice his sudden blush at his childhood nickname.

 

“Add me on Facebook so we can set up a time with Obi-Wan to talk,” Padmé said excitedly, briefly Anakin’s hand in a friendly gesture. “I’ll see you soon!”

 

Anakin watched her leave dazedly, his hand burning from where she’d touched him, his head in a tailspin of emotions he didn’t know what to do with. But as soon as his head cleared of the fog Padmé left him in, he dropped the drugstore bag on the floor and bolted back to his laptop to open up Facebook.

 


End file.
